On Getting Old
For some young people, getting older can be a challenge. But what if it is not?
Dear readers,
I recently celebrated my 25th birthday. For someone who aspires to live to 120, I feel I'm just entering my childhood.
All kidding aside, I'd like to reflect on what our life cycles bring us and explore the concept of aging.
I don't know about you, but every birthday I try to reflect on my past year and consider what I'd like to improve in the next. Yet the ghost 👻 of "oh my, I'm getting old" always lingers.
I have a feeling—and I think many share this—that after COVID, we all lost our sense of time's passage. For me, it felt as if the years were frozen, as if I were somehow stuck at 21.
Diving deeper into this anxiety, I believe that for us young adults, much of this discomfort about aging stems from a common (and very unpleasant) place: the feeling of not being or having enough. Those of us born in the '90s and early 2000s share this social expectation that we're supposed to have our lives sorted out in our 20s and early 30s.
Most of us with access to education thought, "I'll study hard, go to university, get a good job, travel the world, have a nice house and family." But here we are in our 20s and early 30s, feeling far from this idealized linear life path.
One possible explanation is that our generation has faced numerous significant crises, both national and international. The 2008 financial crisis affected the world, particularly the U.S. and Europe. In the last 10–15 years, we've witnessed the rise of social movements demanding better conditions and rights, international conflicts, threats to democracy and civil rights, the social media revolution, the COVID-19 pandemic and its devastating effects, and countless wars. We've been navigating constant instability while trying to maintain our mental health and nurture our dreams.
It's no surprise that things haven't gone as planned. How could anyone not feel anxious, depressed, and worried in such an unstable world? (Yes, that's rhetorical).
The truth is that aging, rather than being seen as life's natural progression and an opportunity for growth, has become a burden for many—"a heavy cross to bear." We constantly struggle with the intrusive thought that "we're not there yet," where "there" represents a place of impossible expectations, little self-compassion, and overwhelming social pressures.
For years, I've felt anxious and overwhelmed by thoughts like "I'm not there yet, I'm not stable yet, I'm not living the way I'd like yet." Honestly, this mindset only increased my worry about the uncertain future.
This year, I'm determined to do things differently. To release these grand expectations and simply live—one day at a time. Being myself. Cherishing quiet moments with myself and loved ones.
My birthday reflection this year centers on my deep desire for peace—to be and feel at peace. For myself and for the billions of others with whom we share this big blue spherical aquarium called Earth 🌎
May we be well. May we be at peace. May we care for ourselves and others. May we age beautifully, healthily, and peacefully.
With love,
Alice ♡
thank you alice for starting such an important conversation ❤️ my biggest anxiety about getting old is the societal expectation. it's the idea that i should have done everything earlier. the idea that it's too late, that i'll have less energy, less vitality, that life will pass me by.
I love how you reframe this, truly
Hi, Gala. Thank you for reading my text and leaving your thoughts here! Social expectations can become something very heavy to carry if we don't manage them.
I am glad you enjoyed the perspective I brought. We are all in our own process ✨️ I hope you can follow the next texts. I will be developing this and many other topics, and bring some poems too.